Clive Barker, The Hellbound Heart
A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face she inquired, “How heavy is this glass of water?” The answers called out ranged from 8oz to 20 oz. She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If i hold it for a minute, its not a problem. If i hold it for an hour, i’ll have an ache in my arm. If i hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer i hold it, the heavier it becomes.” She continued, “The stress and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them for a big longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed - incapable of doing anything.” Always remember to put the glass down.
I have the most difficult time trying to explain to my friends that I don’t intentionally mean to ignore calls/texts/visits or cancel plans because of personal reasons, but that I often need alone time or to remove myself from all social situations. Sometimes I feel like my personal relationships have suffered greatly because of this and I often find myself wondering how normal human beings function in this sort situation.
This probably sounds weird but I don’t really “get” how to be.. a person. Like, when I watch people interact with each other, it seems so effortless for them. They talk/banter, and seem to be able to follow all the cues. And, from a peripheral perspective — while watching them — it all looks easy enough, but drop me in the middle of it, and I get so glitchy. It’s an actual chore for me.
Stop it. Stop. Stop crying.
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